Travelin'

- March 29 -

HOBOKEN LOCAL INTERVIEW: GRANDMA NUBBIN Today, Don interviews local Hoboken legend, Grandma Nubbin, nee Estelle Nubbinowitz, at her incredible confectionary, Grandma Nubbin’s Yummers Factory, which has been family-owned and operated in Hoboken for 120 years. Stop by and mention Travelin’ to get a special treat! DON VOYAGE: Grandma Nubbin, this is a beautiful store. GRANDMA NUBBIN: Yes, I’m not blind, I can see that. DV: You’re welcome. So what do you sell here in this delicious candy shop? GN: Read the sign if you really want to know. DV: I thought I would just ask… GN: Read the goddamn fucking sign, sonny. DV: …. GN: Looks good, right? DV: (reading) I’m reading it! GN: No sassback in my store, you young punker. DV: (reading) Oh my! You have caramel apples here? Real caramel apples? GN: As opposed to the fantasy ones made of unicorn jizz? DV: Now Grandma… GN: Don’t you now Grandma me, sonny! You come into my store with your magic recorder, asking me questions, rummaging through my raspberry truffles, nipping into my nibblins… DV: Grandma… GN: …piddling with my puddings, slurping on my sweetmeats, touching me on my sugarpants… DV: That’s a horrible accusation. GN: Well then maybe you shouldn’t have given me the rough treatment with the grabby candyhands, sonny. DV: I didn’t touch you. I still have a debt to society to pay, ma’am. I can’t have you making accusations! GN: (eyes narrow) There are secrets here in this town, Voyage. Secrets that must stay secret. (makes a run for the front door!) Police! Police! DV: Oh no you don’t witch woman. (punches her in solar plexus) GN: Oof! You devil! DV: AAHH! (gets Grandma in crude choke hold. She successfully batters him in the groin, but he holds on, heaving and grunting, squeezing the consciousness from her ancient body). GN: You’re only making it worse for yourself. <Huhn… ahh…>The Elder Council will… ack… find you… (she slumps to the ground, knocking over a tray of delicious caramel apples) DV: I’ve come too far witch woman. No one must know of my past. (calmly snaps neck, exits munching fistful of bon-bons) NEXT: More with Grandma Nubbin on her delicious treats, and more fun facts of Hoboken history!

HOBOKEN LOCAL INTERVIEW: GRANDMA NUBBIN

Today, Don interviews local Hoboken legend, Grandma Nubbin, nee Estelle Nubbinowitz, at her incredible confectionary, Grandma Nubbin’s Yummers Factory, which has been family-owned and operated in Hoboken for 120 years. Stop by and mention Travelin’ to get a special treat!

DON VOYAGE: Grandma Nubbin, this is a beautiful store.

GRANDMA NUBBIN: Yes, I’m not blind, I can see that.

DV: You’re welcome. So what do you sell here in this delicious candy shop?

GN: Read the sign if you really want to know.

DV: I thought I would just ask…

GN: Read the goddamn fucking sign, sonny.

DV: ….

GN: Looks good, right?

DV: (reading) I’m reading it!

GN: No sassback in my store, you young punker.

DV: (reading) Oh my! You have caramel apples here? Real caramel apples?

GN: As opposed to the fantasy ones made of unicorn jizz?

DV: Now Grandma…

GN: Don’t you now Grandma me, sonny! You come into my store with your magic recorder, asking me questions, rummaging through my raspberry truffles, nipping into my nibblins…

DV: Grandma…

GN: …piddling with my puddings, slurping on my sweetmeats, touching me on my sugarpants…

DV: That’s a horrible accusation.

GN: Well then maybe you shouldn’t have given me the rough treatment with the grabby candyhands, sonny.

DV: I didn’t touch you. I still have a debt to society to pay, ma’am. I can’t have you making accusations!

GN: (eyes narrow) There are secrets here in this town, Voyage. Secrets that must stay secret. (makes a run for the front door!) Police! Police!

DV: Oh no you don’t witch woman. (punches her in solar plexus)

GN: Oof! You devil!

DV: AAHH! (gets Grandma in crude choke hold. She successfully batters him in the groin, but he holds on, heaving and grunting, squeezing the consciousness from her ancient body).

GN: You’re only making it worse for yourself. <Huhn… ahh…>The Elder Council will… ack… find you… (she slumps to the ground, knocking over a tray of delicious caramel apples)

DV: I’ve come too far witch woman. No one must know of my past. (calmly snaps neck, exits munching fistful of bon-bons)

NEXT: More with Grandma Nubbin on her delicious treats, and more fun facts of Hoboken history!

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